Vitamin Gay

GLBT Related Politics, Music & Art Reviews

A Personal Annoyance… June 2, 2011

I’ve been looking for books along the lines of ‘the T files’, an EXCELLENT book following the chronology of one FtM’s personal journey across the gender barrier.  It was poignant, well thought out, in depth look into some of the internal conflicts, various stages we go through in our journeys to personal discovery and I HIGHLY recommend it, not just to those of you in my audience who are trans, or think you may be, but to anyone interested in a personal story told from the perspective of one who has EXPERIENCED this life…the pain of self doubt & lack of identity that we feel as individuals as we try to discern who and/or what we truly are and find our place not just in society but w/in our own GLBT community, locally and globally.  This is a book I have read twice and can whole heartedly endorse, check it out from your local library or buy it at Powells online bookstore.
NOW, on to the annoyance, hence my title tonight…
I have been searching for more reading material along similar lines, transition stories TOLD by those who have EXPERIENCED IT FIRST HAND…this is vitally important to me, there is a quality of knowledge that comes from first hand experience that can NOT be learned or gained any other way and those who have NOT experienced it will never fully, truly understand (what it is to feel uncomfortable in ones own skin, so much so that you will do what ever is necessary to make the mind and body match)…so my question is:
Why is it that EVERY (or so it seems) book I can seem to find talking about the issue of gender, gender politics and gender studies, are ALL WRITTEN by heterosexual identifying women???? WTF do YOU KNOW about the trans experience from anything more than an analyitical perspective???
maybe its just a personal problem of my own (knowing myself as I do, I am fully aware that I have some latent mysoginistic mentalities due to the fact that I was repeatedly abused by the women in my life who were SUPPOSED to be my role models & the ones supporting me, I know, accept and strive to keep it to myself, I feel I generally have a good handle on it, so I also accept that this may be tainting my perceptions slightly) however, it just annoys the hell out of me.
Everything I seem to pick up on the topic seems to be talking about ‘the comoditisation of gender’ (is that even a word people?) or ‘temporal uniquness’ (because we have shorter life spans, generally, GLBT people, gay men in particular, tend to live hard & die young) and other such nonsense and read more like a dissertation paper written for their PHD (probably hitting the hammer on the head right there) and not the sort of writing I’m looking for.
perhaps i need to reframe my search perameters and try again, but in the mean time, i remained annoyed that more trans people aren’t authors, don’t write their stories down & try to publish…I want to but I wouldn’t know where to begin (though I HAVE made a rough draft outline of topics to touch on and may write one in spurts over the years and then have an editor help me proof & organize it…if nothing else i can always make it available online).
but to my audience members who are trans…please speak up, speak out…tell your stories because no two transitions are the same and we all have our tales to tell…whats yours? share w/me…to quote an old ‘friend’ ‘I’m listening’

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