Vitamin Gay

GLBT Related Politics, Music & Art Reviews

The Oreo Boycot July 2, 2012

I’ll keep this one pretty brief here, just wanted to throw out my two cents on the whole bigots boycott oreo issue.

I’m not an oreo eater, haven’t had them in ages, nor do I personally partake of snacks like poptarts, ritz, pringles crisps etc…however, I must say I do appreciate the positive PR they are giving our communities civil rights campaign movement, its big names coming out in support and that means it draws attention to the issues and I think thats great.

What I don’t think is great is the level of immaturity being displayed by the bigots of this country as they announce ‘we’re boycotting you homo loving companies’, whatever man, thats your right.  Its immature as fuck, but its your right to boycott whatever the fuck you damn well please, have at it folks.  Though, even this may have its positive side…these people will be forced to go on a a diet of some sort because its not just oreo, like i said above, its- pringles, ritz, twizlers, poptarts, and many more of the food brands…not to mention places like starbucks, nike, adidas, and many other name brand products & places these folks go to every day…so if you’re going to boycott oreo for loving the homos, you’ll have to boycott those places as well, otherwise you’re being total hypocrites (not that we’d expect any less, especially fact being that many homophobes are in fact themselves closet cases).  And if they do that, well where are they going to get their stuff? lol.

I have a pin that sums up succinctly the ONE fact that these people seem to miss, it reads ‘someone you know is gay’…its true.  we’re everywhere people and we’re sure as fuck not going anywhere, so you had just best get used to it…we’re here, we’re queer and we’re not going anywhere as it were people! I guarantee that SOMEONE you know, mr/mrs homophobia, someone in YOUR LIFE, possibly even someone close to you, is gay.  The world hasn’t ‘gone gay’ we’re just able to be out & proud in most places these days w/out too much fear of getting the holy living hell beat out of us and the more we trend in that direction the better off we’ll be but the at the same time, the more backlash we’ll have from people like the oreo boycotting bigots here.  We are, slowly but surely winning this fight but its a long battle (as we can see w/the civil rights movements that have come before, the seemingly impossible takes time…like you all, though, I too hate the ‘hurry up and wait’ aspect).

One thing about people like this that I will never understand is- dude…you’re seriously SO HATEFUL you are boycotting a cookie? really? whoa…

thanks for th positive PR nabisco & oreo and others

ok, this one is a lil bizzare lookin but ya know lol…i bet kids would love it if they actually sold some like this


massively offensive adverts June 23, 2012

on the topic of disrespect for trans people in this country (and in general) and the fact that we are often treated as the butt of jokes, I thought I’d bring to attention an advert I found while surfing around the net.  Its old, from the 90’s in fact, but its still a shining example of the ignorant and ‘freak show attraction’ sort of regard in which we are held…the ad was for the hotel chain Holiday Inn (someplace you wont catch me after seeing an advert like this, not that I’d probably stay there anyway, but i digress), in which they…well here, lemme copy over the description because typing it out is gonna make me see multiple shades of red…

In the 1990s, the Holiday Inn hotel chain decided to get with the times and undergo a billion dollar renovation. When it was finished, they chose the 1997 Super Bowl as the venue in which to brag about it. They ran a commercial that depicted two classmates at a high school reunion. One tries to place the name of the beautiful woman standing before him and after a few guesses, he figures it out — the vision of beauty before him used to be named Bob.

The voice-over then goes on to reason that since the thousands of dollars that “Bob” had spent had been such a success, wouldn’t the same hold true for a billion-dollar hotel chain renovation? As it turned out, the answer was no. Not only did the campaign fail to renew interest in the chain, it was deemed offensive by LGBT groups, who boycotted the hotel. ”

still from the ad…
and instances like this are exactly WHY i sure as fuck wouldn’t be caught dead at my 10yr reunion…hell to the NO!

frankly I’m appalled…and like i said, i know this is over a decade old but still, the audacity of such an ad speaks volumes of the blatant disregard for the feelings of those in the trans community, this sort of attitude leads to incidents like the recent fiasco w/cake boss and how they made Poor Carmen Carerra cry :(.  Its good to know this ad got yanked and, of course, the national GLBT community largely boycotted the chain, but still, the fact that they even put together such an ad just, WHOA man, the galling ignorance is stomach turning, and this sort of idea (that its ok to call a trans person by their former name and/or pronoun just because ‘you just found out’ or whatever is all too common and extremely frustrating, not to mention very emotionally painful to the trans person in question…when i came out my dad told me ‘i’m ok w/it but you’ll always be my little girl’ and i had to tell him, no dad, NO i wont because i never was ‘your little girl’ i was a young man TRAPPED & IMPRISONED against my will because we have no say in how we are born into this world, only in how we will turn out…and we only have so much say in that).   Yes, when you first find out that your old high school chum who used to be ‘bob’ (in the case of the ad) is now nancy or sue, you do get a FEW slip ups w/a free pass and only a minor warning, after that though you’re expected to adapt like a fucking intellectual adult WOULD and get it the fuck right, after that, we start getting increasingly hurt and/or pissed off (and w/good reason).  And adverts like this perfectly illustrates the sort of attitude that is keeping me AWAY from my 10yr reunion next year, not even gonna go there.

Speaking of offensive adverts, while we’re at it, here’s a link to the list of the top 10 most offensive adverts of 2011…and OOOOOH MAN are they some doozies…i mean DAMN, we’re talking like Mitt Romney levels of blindingly ignorant for not noticing HOW offensive these ads were when they were conceived (seriously HOW DID THESE MAKE IT? either onto tv or into magazines, i will NEVER know because DAMN…just WOW!…the first one especially, recivilize yourself???? WHOA! just…i don’t have words for how racist, bigoted and incredibly insanely inappropriate that ad is, i just can’t see how it got past and published/run…it shall forever be a mystery)


the ‘apology’ from cake boss June 13, 2012

so cake boss did ‘apologize’ I use pretty heavy sarcasm because it wasn’t much of an apology, it was an attempt to try & excuse their obscenely RUDE and disrespectful behavior by playing off as ‘oh i was only jokin, i didn’t mean to HURT anyones feelings’ yeah, BULLSHIT!  if your intent wasn’t to make fun of Miss Carmen, then what WAS your intent?

*taps foot* well, i’m WAITING mr. cake boss man…oh whats that? you don’t HAVE an answer, well what a surprise.  people like you and yours absolutely sicken me because you’re a shining example of one of the many problems in this country, the main one being utterly blatant and flagrant IGNORANCE of, well, just about everything.

While we appreciate your ‘apology’ mr. cake boss, it doesn’t come across as at all sincere and instead comes across as a smell pile of shit you plopped out in an attempt to save some face in the PR department…i some how doubt it will placate the community though (certainly doesn’t placate my ass…you didn’t MEAN to hurt her??? you didn’t MEAN to? then what exactly DID you mean by making her the butt of an extremely transphobic joke??? again…waiting for that answer that, if ever it comes, i know wont be satisfactory).  this is NOT a joking matter you asswipe shit stain, this is serious shit and you have seriously bitch slapped our T community right in its face.

you can read their ‘apology‘ on their face book page…and the commentary on the ‘apology’ on cake boss’s face book is just as ignorant…seriously, how do you NOT SEE how hurtful this is? oh right, you’re ignorant, braying jack asses who have no hearts…right, silly me 😛

you CAN NOT just play this off as a ‘WHOOPS my bad, der, sorry’ incident when you had MET w/the individual in question before shooting and discussed what terms were APPROPRIATE to describe and transitioned trans person…but did you use those words? NO, you decided it would be MUCH funnier to freak out ‘cousin anthony’ (who is doubtlessly homophobic, judging by their reaction to this bullshit shenanigans…said individual also refers to Carmen as ‘it’ in their twitter feed, further disrespect but oh my, who’s surprised, raise your hands…oh look, no one…) by telling him he had been flirting with ‘a man’…not a trans woman, not someone who was BORN male and transitioned, no, you decided it would be SO MUCH FUNNIER if you just called her out on national television as a freak, and you’re trying to play it off as ‘oh sorry, we didn’t MEAN anything by it’ yeah, you know what mr. cake boss, FUCK YOU! you can sit & spin mother fucker, assholes like you make me want to wretch, you give me the fucking dry heaves like the hangover from hell (and a headache to match w/your ignorance & utterly blatant stupidity).

i encourage all of you to go tell mr. cake boss man just how you feel on the facebook page (link above, hyper linked) and let him know that his half ass ‘apology’ isn’t good enough and tell him right were he can stick it.  we are not amused and your ‘oh i was just jokin der hur hur’ apology doesn’t cut it and definitely isn’t reading sincere or like you’re SORRY for jack shit, what you’re really sorry for is that you embarrassed your worthless hide and made the show look like a show run by jack asses…which, fact being that it clearly is, job well done ass wipe!

also, be sure to go to Carmen’s page and tell her how much you appreciate her and give her hugs because she had to endure this bullshit which she SO did NOT deserve.  *HUGS FOR CARMEN!* ❤ stay strong chica, your T community and your fans all LOVE YOU! ❤


take a min to tell ‘cake boss’ what you think of how they treat the T community June 12, 2012

friends, I come to you today to ask that you help spread the word about this very unfortunate incident involving a show on TLC called ‘cake boss‘ (i honestly have no idea what that is, nor do i care to find out after the shit they pulled), who had our girl Carmen Carrera on an episode and said they would use the proper and respectful terms to describe her and then blatantly threw in a ‘whoa thats a MAN’ moment…WTF people, where do you get off?

The incident reasonably upset poor Carmen, apparently made her cry even (poor girl, i would too), and i ask that you sign the petition along w/me to send them a message that this sort of behavior is shamefully wrong and that they should publically apologize for this bullshit because it is NOT ok.

You think its FUN being born into the wrong body fuckers? you think its FUN to make fun of trans individuals & people w/GID? you have no heart!  people w/this problem frequently commit suicide because they just can’t COPE with the way society treats us like circus freaks, we are NOT some side show attraction for you to gawk at people, we are REAL people just like you, w/REAL emotions and the shit you pull frankly is so incredibly hurtful sometimes that you’re luck trans people are largely non-violent unless they’re actively being threatened at the moment because i’d hate to see what would happen if we weren’t.

If Carmen walked down the street, and you had no familiarity w/Rupaul’s drag race, or who Carmen was, you WOULD NOT be able to clock that! that is an unclockable, 100% passable piece of hot female right there! and you had no right to call her out like that on public television of ALL places you scum.

thats my two cents on the subject, Carmen honey I’m sorry you had to go through that, its not right and I sincerely hope they publicly apologize like they should.  *hugs* stay strong girl! much love to you & all my trans sisters & bros.

PS- HAPPY FUCKIN PRIDE MONTH *RAINBOW CONFETTI* go out there and get you some! (some booze, some hot ass, some partyin it up, whatever you want, its pride and its a month long mardi gras ALL OVER the country! WOOO!…someone slam some tequila for me since i can’t drink 😉 LOL)


Our Parents, Ourselves…cross posted from Welcome To My Cell May 26, 2012

This is a cross post from my personal diary blog titled ‘Welcome To My Cell’, it focuses on psychological issues and things of that nature, like my agoraphobia, ptsd, ocd and so forth.  This is a post that started as a brief snip for FB, but i cut it and pasted it and expanded it into a four page window into my head (lot longer than i anticipated, apologies for the length, you know how long winded I can be)…anyway, here’s the cross post.  Later I have an update to issue, so stay tuned 😉 you know you wanna hear about it.

Our Parents, Ourselves-

ya know how when you’re a teen, and your parents piss you off & you vow that you’ll never EVER turn into them…and how it always, inevitably happens…and then when you realize it, it depresses the holy living hell out of you?

yeah, I’ve been going through that a lot lately…i see so much of my mother’s mannerisms (and worse yet, my grandmothers 😦 why did the people who shaped my personality in my formative years have to SUCK SO BAD???) in myself, especially when I’m under chronic stress & pressure, its been depressing the shit out of me…I’m not her, but…well, you know how it goes…raise your hand if you can clearly see the stamp of those who raised you in your formative years on your personality…(that should be most-all of you :P)…sometimes thats a good thing, sometimes its a bad thing, depends on who your folks were.

When I have bouts like this I try really, REALLY hard to think of the positive qualities these women had, few & far between though they were.  Grandmother could balance a check book like no other, down to the penny (depression era spending habits will do that), and was a pretty decent business woman.  She taught me to cook & clean & bake and how to ‘take care of your man’ (translation, she raised me w/the expectation that I would grow up to act & look like June Cleaver 😛 yeah…that didn’t happen).  I learned how to run a far & care for animals & such and the importance of good, strong work ethic.  My mother was a very talented artist, though she very rarely chose to polish or display such talents, I believe that stems from grandmother’s jealousy that mother was a better sketch artist than she was & so grandmother liked to trod on mother’s talent (not unlike how my mother chose to trod on mine because I’m a significantly more multifaceted artist than her.  I not only could draw, but i could paint, sculpt, knit, sew, design patterns, make jewelry and so much more…check out the store to see how far I’ve come because I’m even better now that I used to be, the psych meds were a huge handicap on my abilities).  My mother generally didn’t give up, I get my stubbornness from her (my father too, but mostly from her because I was actually raised around her, i get my temper from my father…at least I’m not a fucking abusive alcoholic pedo and never will be…thats my father in a nutshell & i was his choice scape goat, reason number 10469 why I’m so fucking fucked up mentally…schizophrenia running in both sides of the family does NOT help…the temper is largely an Irish thing though, hot blooded & quick to anger)…she didn’t seem to give up until she started working for walmart, that crushed her spirit, color me unsurprised it does that to all of us who’ve had to work there, thankfully I was only there three and a half years on & off mostly as seasonal temp help.  I blame walmart for turning my mother republican, conservative and significantly more stupid than she had previously been (it brainwashes you, i WISH i were kidding…seriously, go apply and go through the training process, its all rah rah company, don’t diss your team, etc etc…its really 1984 esque and really REALLY creepy…i had to sit through it at least four times for orientation because even if you’re a prior hire they will NOT let you skip it).

Um…really those are the good points i can think of off hand…I’m trying, really i am.

She wasn’t a boozer like my biological father was, and I would say thats a point in her favor, except she was addicted to caffeine, cigarettes and diet pills, so she was always going up or coming down off something and it lead to LOTS and LOTS of meth-rage.  She openly blamed me for the problems of our household family, and sometimes…often…for the collective tension problems between her & my grandmother because i was ‘a bad seed’ (and yeah, thats verbatim one of the phrases that was used to describe me, while i was in the room often no less *sigh* have i mentioned i do NOT miss these people?), and especially for the tensions between aunt Teena & her…i don’t believe in lying to kids and so when my younger cousins would ask about things like what you learn in middle school health (like what a period is…or ‘why mommy wears diapers in her panties once a month?’ and that sort of life FACT that they deserve to know…we were a Catholic family you see, VERY Catholic, and they didn’t like talking about such things EVER, even when the girls finally got theirs, its appalling how they’re willing to send people out into the world so under prepared just because ‘thats how WE were sent out, why should they know any different or better?’…that was one of the explanations i was given when i asked why i wasn’t to speak of such things)…anyway, I got blamed for the problems, nearly all of them (sorry to whine but yeah, it takes its toll).

we’re short on money, its YOUR FAULT LITTLE T!! (never mind that you COULD cut back on your smoking and save about $100 a week minimum, i sat down and did the math when i was in high school and learning budgeting in careers, yeah, they didn’t appreciate my input…or we could have cut cable or other luxuries, but NOPE, MY FAULT!).  theres no food in the house, its YOUR FAULT LIL T!! never mind that my two older brothers (you can see them in this photo post on my other blog Vitamin Gay, they’re the two huge guys behind myself & Blaine) were MASSIVE and while i will cop to being over weight at the time for sure, i was also frequently battling w/anorexia and thusly was frequently starving myself (whether it showed physically or not varied on how long i had been going for), so yeah…TOTALLY my fault ya see.  the cats used your brothers room for a litter box, ITS YOUR FAULT T! never mind that it was HIS chore to clean the box, but like all the other chores, they some how got pilled on me w/out apology and these days i just take on extra tasks because they need doing and i was raised w/the ideal that ‘if a task needs done, do it and do it right the first time so you don’t have to do it AGAIN’ but this some how NEVER took w/my brothers (i’d say I’m surprised, but they didn’t have it beat into their heads the same way i did)…

You see where I’m going with this though, i don’t like to think about it regularly but life growing up was REALLY hellish, i spent 95% of my time trying to escape and the other 5% at school…I’d escape through any means possible, walking my many dogs & helping them get re socialized for adoption (the ones who were taken in strays, we were a humane society halfway house for strays, i was the primary trainer), just wandering off w/out saying anything was my preferred method (but that tended to get me in trouble a lot) but we lived on a huge, mostly empty hill on the outskirts of town, i’d just wander off into the fields or the ravine and just sit and stare at the town & the mountains and dream about getting away some day, spent most of those days dreaming about the big apple, certain I’d end up there married to a crazy Italian artist and/or poet LOL, we’d live in a tiny loft/studio flat & I’d wait tables at his families restaurant where he was one of the chefs & I’d act in bit parts in random plays while i focused on writing novels & painting landscapes of countries I’d probably never see.  It didn’t happen, but it didn’t and doesn’t matter, it was the dream that got me through all that horribleness, all those awful, gut wrenching times where i just wanted to crawl under a rock and die because i was so sure it would never ever get better…if i had been stronger I would have run away age 17 after this one particularly nasty bout i’d had w/my family, but they had done their work well, and crippled me so badly emotionally that i literally couldn’t survive on my own.  I have never lived alone and never will, even when i first got to Portland & was technically living in a garage in Aloha, i was actually sleeping over here on the SE side at my friend Sam’s flat (right near where i live now, i liked it here and wanted to move to this area of town ever since i got here) because i couldn’t stand the fact that the roommates i had were 1- TOTAL jerks and 2- never home, so i was alone and i just couldn’t cope with it.

Trouble is that even though I’m away, and I’ve been healing and I’ve put four years no contact worth of distance between my and my awful family & past in Pendleton, their voices haunt me still…I was laying in bed last night trying to get to sleep and my thoughts when something along these lines…

Me- *sigh* I’m just like my mother, quick to anger, irritable, insane, etc.  this is just awful and seriously depressing…at least I’m not a psycho bitch

Her voice- yes you are, fairly often

Me- *grrrr* well at least I’m not a control freak

her voice- are to

Me- at least i’m not an angry & abusive parent

Her voice- you are too

Me- FUCK YOU! least i’m  not emotionally manipulative of those around me because i don’t like myself…

her voice- yeah, you are…

Me- well at least i don’t try and control others lives and get mad when they don’t let me

her voice- you do that too

Me- Well…at least I’m not an addict who self medicates to escape the guilt i feel over being such a whack job…

Her voice- you do that too…face it, I made you in my image the same way my mother did.  you’re so much like me you might as well be me…

Me- seriously, why the fuck can’t i just get rid of you ??? no matter how long its been or how much time or distance i’ve put between myself and YOU, you are STILL HERE TORMENTING ME, why wont you leave me alone???

no answer

Me- oh yeah, now you’re silent 😥 *cries to sleep*

***end scene***

*sigh* I try not to be too hard on myself because much (most) of my damage is not my fault, its nothing i did to myself and its not something i went looking for, it was dumped on me like all those sacks of laundry back in the day, and i was told to wash, sort, fold and file it all, NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW, but i wasn’t given equipment, soap or the instructions…actually a pretty fitting analogy actually thinking about it…

in truth that she and her voice in my head CAN NOT contradict-

At least I take responsibility when I fuck up!

At least I admit when I’m wrong!

At least I apologize when I have wronged and/or hurt someone!

At least I communicate with and genuinely CARE about my spouse!

At least I feel GUILT when I fuck up and/or have hurt someone, unlike you you damn sociopath bitch cow!

AND, above ALL


This is what gets me through these bouts w/the similarities in my mother’s personality and my own…I’m not her and on so many levels I am far & away a much MUCH better person than she is or could ever hope to be, I try to let that comfort me.  Its still hard and it still makes me cry and gets me horrifically depressed when i think about it too much, which has been a lot lately unfortunately.  I’ll muddle through some how, I seemingly always do.

thanks for listening/reading, this was a much longer entry than anticipated.  I will TRY to shoot an unedited Vlog sometime soon, i’ve got a better camera which i got in March w/some of my wedding garb commission, a necesary business expense/birthday present for myself (more useful than but not as cool as a tattoo, someday i will have ink 😦 but not today), and the video is crisp & sharp, its HD so yeah, shiny :).  anyway, i’m off to perk myself up with a bowl and then I am off to make a fresh batch of pastry cream (the batch i made yesterday didn’t turn out right because I 1- mixed the cornstarch w/the sugar & then added the yolks…it goes yolks+sugar, whisk until slightly transparent THEN add the starch…and 2- i accidentally scalded the egg mixture slightly 😛 it happens…now we know) and then later, crepes soufflé 😀  never made crepes or a soufflé anything before, so fun fun fun, wish me luck (cooking something new is a wonderful way to cheer up, it usually does the trick for me…unless I’m extra depressed, but this should help me today).


a special shirt, just for you, Mr. President May 11, 2012

this is actually a sweatshirt i designed as a commentary on the democrats who sat by and did so little during the Bush years…now I present it as a very SPECIAL sweatshirt for our VERY SPECIAL president…frankly we should REALLY push for the reinstitution of stem cell research…it only takes a fetus a few months to grow a spine, NOT FOUR YEARS AND CHANGE!

dear Mr. President…YOU…THIS…ASAP…



The gloves are OFF…a RANT! May 9, 2012




I have said before in recent months, but just in case y’all missed it, I call things like i see em and I’m done being a meek, polite, sugar coating pansy about the blatant BULLSHIT that TONS of people in this country need to be called out on NOW!
Sometimes you gotta be tactless to drive a point home, but it is time to STOP w/the ignorance, stop w/the bullshit and STOP w/the willful stupidity and the belief that YOUR OPINION is as good and/or valid as actual facts etc.
there is a topic being debated in our country right now, though as i see it its not much of a debate, the question is equal rights for some or equal rights for all…the constitution says we’re all equal, thats the supreme law of the land is it not? then i do NOT see what the FUCK the debate is…sign the fucking protection bill into law, tell the whining cultural backlashers who REFUSE to catch up to the reality that the world is NOT STUCK IN 1950 w/THEIR BRAINS and its time to move on, whether they like it or not, the rest of us damn well are going to.
you ever look at those people w/the end of the world is nigh signs and scoff? its true…for them…what they mean is, the end of MY WORLD, the end of MY COMFORTABLE little reality that i built for MYSELF, MY PLACE that I GREW UP IN, that world is not just ending, its GONE! they’re in a state of severe culture shock, but they’ve had HALF A CENTURY to catch up at this point to the new knowledge and reality that shit ain’t what it used to be, the game is different now and we ALL have a say.  your world HAS ended…GET THE FUCK OVER IT AND STOP YOUR FUCKING CRYING! this issue is NO DIFFERENT that interracial marriage which is perfectly commonplace now, you’ve mostly gotten over that, I’m sure you’ll get over this too, or you’ll croak first, frankly since most of you who voted in favor of this are OLD FUCKS thats the most likely and GOOD RIDDANCE, the world will be better w/out you.  I don’t much care. life will go on w/or w/out your approval people. ACCEPT IT!
I want to make one last thing perfectly clear…i don’t HATE these people, what i hate is what they have turned this country into, a place where a love like mine & Blaine’s is spat upon, while people who don’t even fully appreciate this PRIVILEGE get to have a piece of paper that allows them to share in all things equally in a legally binding fashion, this is a privilege we ALL DESERVE and we ALL have every RIGHT TO! what i feel for these people is bottomless pity, i feel nothing but sadness when i think of them…because they are EMPTY inside and they hate themselves, and that is why they choose to project it onto the rest of the world.  and more than anything it breaks my heart, because its just sad to know that there are SO MANY people like that out there, who believe that behaving so inhumanly to their fellow man/woman is perfectly acceptable and right.  That is what i feel.
Thank you.

NC, y’all know what you can do…kiss my taint!

PS- a lil more food for thought, it takes 38 states to push through a constitutional amendment, currently 25 states have banned same sex marriage w/their state constitutions and 4 have statutes against it…the map is a little unclear about the states that are stripped two colors but thats at least 29 states confirmed outlawed the practice…thats a very terrifying & disheartening fact if you’re one of us…something to think about when it comes knocking on the door of the senate of YOUR home state…DON’T FORGET TO VOTE!!! if we don’t, they WILL win, and then…we’re all screwed…